Make tea great again
Tea sales in the UK are falling. It’s an old person’s drink (BBC):
less than half the nation, 48%, now drink tea at least once a day.
Shocking.
Coffee is where it’s at, of course. It costs a ton so the experience can be good and there’s the convenience and the frequency of it, and all of that builds habit, and how is tea to survive an onslaught like that.
If I were the tea marketing board, this is what I’d do:
I’d start tea stalls in convenient and trendy places and radically undercut coffee. Make it £1/cup. Make it £1.50 if you buy two (one to take to the office for a friend).
Rules:
- Nothing fancy as fancy implicitly states that the default isn’t good enough. Black tea plus milk, sugar optional.
- DO NOT LEAVE THE BAG IN.
- Don’t be weird and don’t be throwback. No porcelain cups with doilies, no attempting to incept new over-branded consumer behaviours. Don’t call it “tEE”, don’t serve it in test tubes. Tea as it’s had at home but brew it really well.
- Not for profit, keep your eyes on the prize of re-popularising tea. Create a regular pit stop by any means (allow free water from a water fountain).
- Only hire nice people.
Maybe also make a vending machine that fires it directly at your face.
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Tea sales in the UK are falling. It’s an old person’s drink (BBC):
Shocking.
Coffee is where it’s at, of course. It costs a ton so the experience can be good and there’s the convenience and the frequency of it, and all of that builds habit, and how is tea to survive an onslaught like that.
If I were the tea marketing board, this is what I’d do:
I’d start tea stalls in convenient and trendy places and radically undercut coffee. Make it £1/cup. Make it £1.50 if you buy two (one to take to the office for a friend).
Rules:
Maybe also make a vending machine that fires it directly at your face.