If you didn't watch the Eurovision Song Content last night you really missed out. For some reason, all contestants simultaneously decided that irony is dead (and it is, you know) and fielded sensible songs, even Germany who took the piss but took the piss in a pretty dedicated way, and Sweden who entered a subversive number. Some of the entries were actually quality music. The major embarrassment was the UK entry which was yet another Abba ripoff.
The Swedish went all out on the show. It was superbly designed in every detail, and if their media companies don't get a lot of work coming their way now I'll be very surprised. You can still see the webcast, but if you can't be arsed with that and didn't watch it last night then worry not because we kept notes.
- israel | Flat. Shouty. Tiny skirt.
- netherlands | Huge dress hiding men.
- uk | Cheap. Abba ripoff (Fernando). So embarrassing.
- estonia | Girl in good hat. Mmm.
- france | In French. Real music.
- romania | Soft rock. Panpipes. Wailing. Craig David.
- malta | Steve Coogan in drag. Alarming transparent dress + big knickers. Big!
- norway | Violently derivative of every 1980s song there every was.
- russia | Bon Jovi meets female masturbation.
- belgium | Celine Dion.
- cyprus | 21st century tribal hordes sweeping across Europe armed with drums and hairgel.
- iceland | Dull (man in skirt).
- spain | Also dull (blind vicar piano playing man).
- denmark | Old man who sings like Barenaked Ladies with guitars.
- germany | Gold lame. German Rap. Wadda dadde dudde da.
- switzerland | This big <->. No, this big! <--->! Dull.
- croatia | Interpretative dance/person fighting their way out of a black bag.
- sweden | Ra-Ra Rasputin meets Eye Of The Tiger meets North American Indians.
- fyr macedonia | Spice Girls. 12 years old. Flat. Extremely flat.
- finland | Celticish. But still terribly dull.
- latvia | Neil Hannon does Jarvis Cocker does Counting Crows. 09011 9804 21
- turkey | Every Spanish/Italian song ever. Exactly.
- ireland | Don't want to win.
- austria | The Ronettes.
btw, Denmark won which was good because they were pretty good and better still they stopped Russia from winning who were shit but somehow came second mainly because the singer was 16 years old and practically falling out of her top, and Latvia only came third but should have come first because they were shit hot and the lead singer wore white bell bottoms and looked manic, absolutely manic.
If you didn't watch the Eurovision Song Content last night you really missed out. For some reason, all contestants simultaneously decided that irony is dead (and it is, you know) and fielded sensible songs, even Germany who took the piss but took the piss in a pretty dedicated way, and Sweden who entered a subversive number. Some of the entries were actually quality music. The major embarrassment was the UK entry which was yet another Abba ripoff.
The Swedish went all out on the show. It was superbly designed in every detail, and if their media companies don't get a lot of work coming their way now I'll be very surprised. You can still see the webcast, but if you can't be arsed with that and didn't watch it last night then worry not because we kept notes.
btw, Denmark won which was good because they were pretty good and better still they stopped Russia from winning who were shit but somehow came second mainly because the singer was 16 years old and practically falling out of her top, and Latvia only came third but should have come first because they were shit hot and the lead singer wore white bell bottoms and looked manic, absolutely manic.