Apologies in advance for the sudden dive in taste, but I have to pass on the fad mentioned in Maria McErlane's column in The Sunday Times: "My favourite gossip of the evening, though, was speculation about celebrity anal bleaching. (Apparently one can now have the skin around the rectum bleached to make it, er, more socially acceptable.) I just love the idea of a Hollywood husband saying: 'Oh darling, you need your roots doing'".

Coming soon in Hello magazine, a do-it-yourself celebrity glamour guide involving a bottle of Domestos and one of: a hand-mirror, or a very trusted friend with steady hands.