23.28, Thursday 30 May 2002

In Mrs Blackmoor's class there was an edutainment table. One particular item was a pencil with a piece of card sellotaped to it. On one side was drawn a bird, on the other a cage. Spinning the pencil you'd see a bird in a cage. Entertaining. Informational. One afternoon class assembly, and this is when I was five years old (maybe four) by the way, Mrs Blackmoor announced that the toy had been destroyed - the pencil had slipped out - and the culprit should step forward. No one stepped forward. If they didn't (she said) the whole class would be in trouble. We all felt terrible. Still nobody came forward. We couldn't believe nobody would tell the truth about what they'd done.

A while later I realised that I had broken the toy, that same day, not long before.

This is the first time I remember remembering that I'd forgotten.

A year earlier I looked at the word "making" and realised that it didn't have the letter "e" in it, despite the spelling of the word "make" and the rule of putting "ing" on the end of doing-words. This is the first time I remember noticing. It was in the wendyhouse and there was a girl there too (she'd started school earlier than me, but had been off sick for a few weeks. When she turned up I introduced her to the dinnerladies who already knew her, and this was my most embarassing incident for many years). The word was written in large print on a piece of paper on the wall, to the left of the door (inside), at eye height. I stared at it. And noticed.