10.16, Tuesday 5 Jun 2001

The oddest message I've ever read, from Prudence Pillsbury: "My late father, Pastor Pillsbury, used to say the very same thing, Brother Hardwick [...] Even after he lost both legs to diabetes, he would ask me and my brothers (as even without either leg, daddy still weighed 325 pounds) to wheel him up to the local "Jim-Bob's all-you-can-eat Barbeque Buffet" so he could sit and "make as many demons homeless as possible" as he always put it, devouring slab after slab of baby back ribs."

This in reply to Vegetarians are Satanic, which also triggered the email with the most alarming subject line in the world: "Sounds like Paul is describing homosexual Catholic priests and their "fish on Friday" nonsense! Praise!"

Actually, I'm more or less completely terrified by all the messages on Brother Harry's Bible Study. They either consist of complete pisstakes, or alarming quotes from the Bible ("Does your garment tag say, "50% linen, 50% wool"? If so, I hope its appropriate clothing for extreme heat" - from Leviticus 19:19. This sparks an entire thread of messages asking whether a polyester mix would be better).

Still, you can't fault the man's credentials: "he holds the record for filling the most number of souls with the Holy Spirit while inducing the most convulsions in a single sermon".