Oh this brand new week is simply begging for fresh Upsideclown. Well, happily...

I was the subject of fourteen operations on my brain during childhood. Ironically, this was the result of a complete absence of faults. The theory was that, starting from a blank slate, you can do so much more. Most brains are pretty unprepossessing things, randomly wrinkled as a septuagenarian's scrotum. Any attempt at invasive surgery is drawing a map in molasses. Not so the taut perfection of my grey matter. Dressed like that, it was asking for it.

Can I have the attention of the class? Presenting Dan's wilderness ramble into footballers, surgery, and oh so many other things. Read you must, Cut and Paste.