16.20, Thursday 4 Jan 2001

Oh, sweet mercy. It's the online Museum of Bestial Art [navigation map]. I think zebras are such cute animals, don't you?

It's all very well making all these pictures, but if you want to actually participate, where would you start? Dolphinsex.org is good as a quick faq if you live by the sea, but you have to look a little further afield if you want guides to shagging most animals. Handy hint, from How to Geese: "You can seriously injure a goose if you penetrate it. The tissue inside is very thin and if it ruptures, the goose will die within 24 hours. I know from first hand experience". No, no but it's okay see, because "Geese are very cheap and can be bought for 20 dollars full grown". Yeah, and in case you've got any doubts: "Nothing is more glorious then hearing the trumpet of a goose when he orgasms!"

Omigod. This can't be right. This really, really can't be right.