09.17, Tuesday 2 Jan 2001

Have you ever thought of the things you could have done, but never did? I Could Have.

I don't feel I've made any decisions, as such. At each obvious fork in the road I thought about what to do, and did it. I couldn't have done otherwise, or I wouldn't be me. Isn't that right? As for the nonobvious forks, the Leave Five Minutes Late Miss The Bus Walk To Work And Meet The Love Of Your Life kind of forks, they're chaotic. I don't have any power over them, so they don't count. Thinking... No, there isn't anything. I don't decide, I just do what feels right. And things just turn up. Anyway, while it's fun to play What If, if you're not careful it can turn into If Only. And I try to live so If Onlys rarely occur.